We Can Tell

It has long been my experience that things end up getting written in three main ways.  First, because someone is paying someone else to write it.  That simple.  News articles, album reviews (Ha!), things of that nature fall into this category.  These are not the things I'm here to ramble about. 

The second way is because a person has an end goal in mind.  A best-selling book, a hit song, an acceptable blog post - something of that nature.  The person has a goal and subject matter in mind and they go searching for the inspiration, the meaning, the heart of it.  Sometimes we take the experiences of others and use them as fuel for this fire.  Or we dig deep to our pasts and the things that lurk within for inspiration.  It's a task.  It's not always easy and sometimes down right painful.  But very often, it works.  To an extent.

Then there is the best way.  When something bubbles up inside the writer and just demands to come out.  It spills over, it cannot be contained.  It can be born of experiences or emotions or memories or anything, it doesn't matter.  What does matter is that it will no longer fit inside and it must be unleashed into the world.  It pours out freely and is cathartic in its release. When that happens, the thing written exists on it's own.  Just the fact that it's out is good enough. The work was done on the way out.  But these organically written things often have the best potential to become something great (if these are ever shared with other people).  They can become best-selling novels, hit songs, brilliant blog posts, etc.  However, their true beauty lies in the fact that they really don't need to be any of those things. 
Here's the thing - people can tell.  Alright, maybe not in the case of books and whatnot, but after watching interviews and reading many articles about how different people write music, when it comes to songs I believe we can tell the difference between those that were forced that those that forced their way out.  There are songs that you can just tell are part of someone.  They come from deep within, they demanded to be let out into the world.  The whoever wrote them didn't have to dig for the inspiration, it was just there.  Personally, I believe those are the best kind.

Songs That Kill

There are certain songs that cut right to the bone.  Even tossed into a play list among other more innocent tunes, some songs just have the ability to stop me in my tracks.  I am helpless to resist their power. Of course, sometimes a song will strike me that way that never has before and never will again, but there are others that do it every time.  A lot of the pleasure I get from music stems from it's ability to take up residence in my head and open up all the dark corners.  It causes a good kind of ache, a cathartic kind of awakening.  I've compiled a little list for you of 10 songs from my iPod that hurt so good (plus a few honorable mentions because you know by now that I can never really narrow it down that far).

1. Who Wants to Live Forever - Queen - Greatest Hits II
Sure, this one's kind of obvious, but that doesn't make it any less powerful.  The huge, swelling string arrangement tucked in behind Freddie Mercury's perfect voice, the lyrics, the whole thing. Ugh, deadly.

2. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water
There is a reason some songs are just known as powerful - because they are.  That simple.  This song goes straight in like a dagger.  Funny how this song seems like it should be uplifting but it makes me tear up every time I hear it.  Weird.  I think it's mostly the gut wrenching quality of Art Garfunkel's voice.

3. Round Here - Counting Crows - August and Everything After
When I first heard this song, I was very young and impressionable and it made quite the impression.   It has long been one of my go-to songs for when life just hurts and I want to hear the sound of it.

4. Go Where You Belong - Ryan Schmidt - White Horse EP
If you've ever felt the weight of not knowing exactly where you belong, this one will get you.  Mix this fact with that guitar and those vocals and you have a definite killer on your hands.

5. Then I'll Be Smiling - Matt Nathanson - Still Waiting For Spring
I've never heard about this song getting much attention and I just don't get that.  For me, it's one of the most powerful songs in his collection. 

6. Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
This is another one that got to me when I was young and didn't know any better.  The bells, the bass, the drum, Billy Corgan's unusual vocal all combined with lines like "Disarm you with a smile, and leave you like they left me here, to wither in denial" to make a song that I just can't shake.

7. Homesick - Soul Asylum - Grave Dancers Union
Another one of those songs that tapped into that feeling of disconnect, that longing for something intangible back when I was a kid.  The influence of a song hangs with us as long as the shadow of the emotion that gave it it's power lingers.

8. Remark - Rachel Platten - Be Here
This is far and away the newest song on my assassin list.  The gentle sound of it, her voice, it all drew me in, but the line, "When our mothers call we're busy doing stuff, we'll get back to them when things start clearing up" killed me dead, right in my spot.

9. Thinking Bout You - Pat Monahan - Last of Seven
When you lose someone who is essential to who you are, it's easy for a song like this to creep in and fuck you up.  This one did just that.  For a long time I couldn't even hear the opening without bursting into tears. These days, I can get to the first chorus (usually), but sometimes this song is exactly what I need.

10. Stories I Tell - Toad the Wet Sprocket - Fear
This song, well actually, pretty much this entire album is devastating.  I picked this song in particular though because it has always been my favorite.  If you don't know Toad the Wet Sprocket (named for a Monty Python skit, I believe) go find them - their heavy, haunting sound and intelligent lyrics will get you too.

Honorable mentions - here's a few that fall into this category and either they just do and I don't have anything else to say about it, or I don't care to comment on them specifically:
Hate Me - Blue October - Foiled
Zero - Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness: Dawn to Dusk
Perfect Blue Buildings - Counting Crows - August and Everything After
Natural - Rob Thomas - Cradlesong
Long Day - Matchbox 20 - Yourself or Someone Like You